"Total Drama Roleplay's 100th Episode Special" Transcript - Total Drama Roleplay
16:44 <@ChefHatchet> -- START -- 16:44 <@Duncan|> (After my dentist appointment.) 16:44 <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades into a cemetery* 16:44 <@ChefHatchet> *eerie music plays* 16:44 <@ChefHatchet> *screen zooms into a gravestone that reads "CHEF HATCHET"* 16:44 <@ChefHatchet> *hand pops out of grave and frightful music plays* 16:45 <@ChefHatchet> *a ghost-like Chef Hatchet appears from the grave, transparent and irritated* 16:45 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Hmph. Welcome to the Total Drama Roleplay 100th Episode Special. 16:45 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: I'm Chef. >_>" 16:45 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: I was SUPPOSED to be hosting the 100th episode, but since I died, Chris gave the role to that Richard Daris kid. 16:45 <@Mygeto> (Is Chef's first name Chef?) 16:45 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Luckily, I took care of him. ;) 16:45 <@ChefHatchet> (Maybe. It's implied.) 16:45 <@ChefHatchet> *screen pans over to Richard, who is tied up and locked in a closet, unable to speak due to the duct tape that covers his mouth* 16:45 <@Mygeto> (Aight.) 16:45 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *evil snicker* 16:46 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Man, I wish I was still alive. This whole "Total Drama" show is dyin' without me. 16:46 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *walks left; scenery immediately changes from a cemetery to a tiny room with black walls, black floors, and a black ceiling* 16:46 (Fear of the beginning, so tense!) 16:46 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *sits on a director's chair and takes out a cup of tea, sips it* 16:46 <@Duncan|> (Wait, Ghosts go through stuff, how'd he tie up Richard?) 16:46 <@ChefHatchet> (Bigez, this episode is hosted by a dead guy. The facts are going to be a little sketchy.) 16:47 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Mmm. Well, this is definitely one of them creepy episodes. 16:47 <@Duncan|> (True.) 16:47 (Chef being alive is giving kids the wrong message) 16:47 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: What? You've never seen a dead guy on reality TV before? :@ 16:47 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Hmph. 16:47 (No...) 16:47 <@Mygeto> (Ghosts can choose when they are and when they're not touchable.) 16:47 (Younger RP viewers will think dead people can come back to life. D:) 16:47 Fionna 4bb6309b@gateway/web/freenode/ip.75.182.48.155 has joined #TDWIKI-RP 16:47 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Anyways, we ain't doin' somethin' cheesy for this episode, like a music video montage, or a series recap. 16:48 (They cannot?) 16:48 <+Noah|> (Hey Zach. It's Toad.) 16:48 <@ChefHatchet> (Wait, seriously? @Mygeto) 16:48 <@Duncan|> (That's only been shown in Regular Show.) 16:48 <@TDAddict> (Mygeto's right.) 16:48 <@Duncan|> (@Mygeto) 16:48 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Nawww. 16:48 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Instead, we'll be takin' a good look at all the people I helped when I was still alive. 16:48 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Now, listen. On Total Drama, I was portrayed as a loud, mean, war-lovin' cook. 16:48 (Naw I saw it a few times too. @Bigez) 16:48 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: But I'm more than just a yeller. I'm also a helper. 16:48 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: And, believe it or not, I actually helped the show more than y'all think. 16:48 (Yeller? What the hel...per...) 16:48 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: I remember helpin' out four lonely, confused, bitter, and angry contestants that refused to look on the bright side. 16:49 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: So, let's show some unaired footage provin' to y'all that I really was a nice guy. 16:49 (a yeller? Like the dog?) 16:49 <@ChefHatchet> *screen flashes to Chef beating a squirrel helplessly with a bat* 16:49 (Old Yeller. Did he die in that movie I forget.) 16:49 <@TDAddict> (Yeller, Chef's way of saying he's a person who yells a lot.) 16:49 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: ...not that one. 16:49 <@ChefHatchet> *screen flashes to the boys' cabin at Camp Awesomeness, where Beth frantically throws items around the cabin* 16:50 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: narration Ah, yes, this one. 16:50 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: narration Beth was never exactly a popular girl. But she was kind, and she believed in positive energy. 16:50 <@Duncan|> (I gtg for like, 2 minutes or so but I'll be back.) 16:50 <@Mygeto> (He got shot.) @TDF 16:50 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: narration So, when she lost her lucky retainer, I couldn't bare to watch her suffer. 16:50 <+Beth|> Gah!! Where is it, where is it, where is it? My retainer! I can't find it anywhere! 16:50 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *walks by the boys' cabin and sees Beth in tears* 16:50 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Beth? ._. 16:50 Duncan| ~Bigez@pool-71-242-177-83.phlapa.east.verizon.net has quit Public PJIRC @ http://pjirc.viper007bond.com/ 16:50 <+Beth|> *sniffles* 16:50 <+Beth|> Chef! I-I didn't...I wasn't...I was just... 16:50 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Spit it out, soldier. :@ 16:51 <+Beth|> *stands up* 16:51 <+Beth|> I was looking for my retainer, Chef. I think one of the boys might have taken it, because I looked everywhere in the girls' cabin, and... 16:51 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: You can't find it? 16:51 <+Beth|> *wipes a tear away* 16:51 <+Beth|> I need my lucky retainer. If I lose it, I'm going to have to get braces. D: 16:51 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Back in my day, everyone had braces. But they sucked it up. They weren't weak and sassy like you teenagers nowadays, with your cellphones, TV, and your- 16:51 <+Beth|> You know what, Chef? I'm not in the mood to deal with you right now. :@ 16:52 <+Beth|> My retainer helped me win all those challenges, and if I don't find it by tomorrow, I'm doomed! So, just cram it and leave. :-@ 16:52 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *sigh* 16:52 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: narration Yeah, that girl wasn't too fond of me. But I saw the sadness in her eyes, and something just went off all up inside of me. 16:52 (Beth has a retainer?) 16:52 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: I'll help you find your retainer, girlie. 16:52 <+Beth|> O_O"" 16:52 <+Beth|> Really? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!! ^_^" 16:52 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Where was the last place you said you saw it? 16:53 <+Beth|> Probably when I was eating my breakfast this morning. 16:53 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: :o 16:53 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: THAT'S IT!! 16:53 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: My rat-tail omelet. 16:53 <+Beth|> What? D: 16:53 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *runs out of the room* 16:54 <+Beth|> Rat-tail omelet? 16:54 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *runs back minutes later with Beth's shiny retainer* 16:54 <+Beth|> :o THANKS, CHEF!! ^_^" 16:54 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: No problem, chicken-thighs. 16:54 <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades out* 16:54 <@TDAddict> (PWND.) 16:54 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *snickers* Beth's not the only troubled teen I helped, though. 16:54 <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades into the craft services tent during the second season* 16:55 (Rat-tail omelet? What?) 16:55 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: narration There was also that delinquent, Duncan. 16:55 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: narration He and I never got along. Little rascal. But I managed to find it in my heart to help him out when he needed it most. 16:55 <+Duncan|> Duncan: *walks into the craft services tent, looking around nervously* 16:55 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *pops up out of nowhere* Yo, Duncan. What you lookin' at? 16:56 <+Duncan|> *sighs* 16:56 <+Duncan|> Nothing, Chef. You can go make your slop now; there's nothing interesting going on here. 16:56 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Son, are you havin'...girl troubles? 16:56 <+Duncan|> O_O 16:56 <+Duncan|> Wha-me? Girl troubles? A-a-as if. Duncans do not HAVE "girl troubles." 16:56 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Mmmmmmhm. <_< 16:56 <+Duncan|> *scratches head* Y-y'know, except occasionally, maybe. :-/ 16:57 <+Duncan|> Alright, alright. I'm having a little teeny problem with finding a gift for Courtney. 16:57 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Courtney? She ain't even in this season. Why do you need to give that lawyer-lovin', insubordinate maggot a gift? 16:57 <+Duncan|> I know, I know. But it's our one-month anniversary, and I need to get her something nice so I can mail it to the aftermath studio. 16:57 <+Duncan|> I'm not sure what, though. 16:57 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Well, what have you thought about getting? 16:57 <+Duncan|> I carved a skull into the back of a tree. You think maybe I could chop it down and send it to her? 16:57 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: ... 16:57 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Duncan, m'boy, you need to find that girl something that she really wants. 16:58 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: She don't want no expensive gift, or chopped-up tree. She wants something from the heart. 16:58 <+Duncan|> L-like what? 16:58 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Hm. 16:58 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Tell ya what. It's only six o'clock. The contestants are scheduled to wake up in about two hours. Maybe we could bake a cake or somethin- 16:58 <+Duncan|> Cake? Two problems with that; I can't cook, and neither can you. 16:58 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: BOI, DO YOU NEED HELP OR NOT? :@ 16:58 <+Duncan|> Okay, okay, I'll let you bake her a cake, sheesh. 16:59 <+Duncan|> But do I really have to help you? 16:59 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Mmmmmmhm. 17:00 <+Duncan|> Duncan: *sighs* Fine. How hard could it be? 17:00 <@ChefHatchet> *screen flashes over one hour later; Chef and Duncan stand by a squashed, burned cake* 17:01 WebkinzMania ~WebkinzMa@pool-96-250-248-172.nycmny.fios.verizon.net has left #TDWIKI-RP [] 17:01 <+Duncan|> Duncan: *groans* It looks...it looks... 17:01 Duncan| has changed nick to Duncanez 17:01 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: It looks like you cooked throw-up. 17:02 Duncan: But our anniversary is today, and the challenge is starting any minute now! 17:02 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Listen, m'boy. I know it isn't exactly a work of art- 17:02 Duncan: It's nowhere near a work of art. We had to put it in the microwave to save time!! >.> 17:02 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Dude, I'd honestly just mail it to her. If she don't like it, then maybe she isn't the girl for you. 17:02 (I don't have a mouse so this is taking long. >.>) 17:03 Chef: Dude, I'd honestly just mail it to her. If she don't like it, then maybe she isn't the girl for you. 17:03 Duncan: *sighs* Alright. Thanks, Chef.* 17:03 <@ChefHatchet> (You're not very smart.) 17:03 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: No problem, danger boy. 17:03 (Eff you, you play Duncan then. >.>) 17:03 <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades out* 17:03 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Man, do I know how to bake a good cake. 17:03 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: But cakes weren't going to solve this next problem. 17:03 <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades into the Total Drama Jumbo Jet in season three* 17:04 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: narration Lindsay. She was blonde, beautiful, and smart. 17:04 Duncanez has changed nick to Bigez 17:04 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: narration Well, maybe not so much the last one. 17:04 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: narration But she knew how to throw a heck of a fit. 17:04 <+Lindsay> Lindsay: *is seen crying in her room as mascara runs down her cheeks* 17:04 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *grumbles and irritatedly sweeps Lindsay's cabin* 17:04 <+Lindsay> Lindsay: *sniffles* Cheffie? Oh, Chef, I'm so glad you're here! 17:05 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: What is it now? <_< 17:05 <+Lindsay> Lindsay: Oh, Chef, something horrible happened. D: 17:05 <+Lindsay> Lindsay: Today, Heather got eliminated!! :( 17:05 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Uh, yeah, that's...too bad. 17:05 <+Lindsay> Lindsay: She lost her chance at the million! 17:06 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: I guess that's not very good... ._. 17:06 <+Lindsay> Lindsay: She almost got eaten by a shark!! 17:06 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Okay, that one's a little funny. :| 17:06 <+Lindsay> Lindsay: But that's not the bad part. Before Heather left, she...she called me... 17:06 <+Lindsay> Lindsay: *sniffles* She called me a night-wit. 17:06 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: You mean a nitwit, right? 17:06 <+Lindsay> Lindsay: That's what I said. And, like, I'm not a night-wit, right? She was being really mean. 17:06 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Well, that's how Heather is. 17:07 <+Lindsay> Lindsay: But she was really nice to me during the season. I don't know if I'm going to ever forgive her. What do I do? 17:07 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *sighs, puts broom down* 17:07 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Lindsay, Heather is manipulative, mean, and deluded. 17:07 <+Lindsay> Lindsay: I don't know what those words mean. :( 17:07 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: ... she ain't nice. 17:07 <+Lindsay> Lindsay: :o 17:07 <+Lindsay> Lindsay: So, you think I should never talk to her ever, ever again? 17:07 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Wait, but lemme finish. 17:07 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Heather may be all those things, but I ain't sayin' that she isn't a good person inside. 17:08 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Sure, she called you a lotta mean things. But whatcha need to understand is that she don't mean to hurt you. 17:08 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: And the only reason she acts like that is because she feels lonely and sad. 17:08 <+Lindsay> Lindsay: So, I should forgive her? 17:08 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: That's not what I'm sayin', either. Keep up, dollface. >_> 17:08 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: I think Heather is a kind girl inside. But that don't mean that she can go around treatin' people like rubbish. 17:08 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: You don't have to be her friend. But I'd suggest forgivin' and forgettin'. 17:08 <+Lindsay> Lindsay: What if I don't want to forgive and forget? :( 17:08 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Then don't. Lindsay, somewhere down the road, you will manage to forgive Heather. 17:08 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: But if you ain't ready for it right now, then I'd say, follow your heart. 17:09 <+Lindsay> Lindsay: Okay. Thanks, Chef. :) 17:09 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: No problem, girlie. 17:09 <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades out* 17:09 Nalyd-Grrr 43fc3340@gateway/web/freenode/ip.67.252.51.64 has joined #TDWIKI-RP 17:09 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Hmph. Like I always say, forgiveness is the best trait anyone can have. 17:09 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Another great trait to have is courage and confidence. 17:09 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Which brings me to my fourth and final contestant; Noah. 17:09 <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades into the Celebrity Manhunt studio* 17:10 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: narration I actually helped Noah out right before I pretend-killed him. 17:10 Ale-Alejandro ~Ale-Aleja@pool-74-100-56-51.lsanca.fios.verizon.net has quit ChatZilla 0.9.87 [Firefox 3.6.22/20110902133716] 17:10 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: narration It was fun. Hehehe. 17:10 Lindseyfan101 ~Lindseyfa@modemcable015.220-178-173.mc.videotron.ca has joined #TDWIKI-RP 17:11 hello 17:11 <+Noah|> IK 17:11 <+Noah|> *walks down a long, narrow hallway* 17:11 <+Noah|> (SorrY> I was brb'ing) 17:11 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *grabs Noah from out of nowhere* 17:11 <+Noah|> O_o GAAAAAAAAAH! 17:11 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *holds up knife and chuckles* Well, Noah, I guess it's time to meet the end. 17:11 <+Noah|> Oh. It's just you. I thought you were a raccoon. 17:11 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: <_< 17:11 <+Noah|> Listen, Chef. I know you're not actually killing everyone. Trust me; I saw Eva's dead body, and let me tell you, I knew from first glance that the blood was ketchup. 17:12 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Why didn't you tell anyone, then? 17:12 <+Noah|> Meh. I hate these losers, anyways. Why not watch them go nuts and think a psycho is killing them? 17:12 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *snickers* I'm using a tranquilizer gun. 17:12 <+Noah|> Riiiiiight. 17:12 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: What's the matter, Noah? You look more blue than Geoff that time he accidentally locked himself in the freezer. 17:12 <+Noah|> Whatevs. It's not like it matters. I'm just... Er... I just don't want to leave the show, mkay? 17:12 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: What? I thought you hated Total Drama Roleplay. 17:13 <+Noah|> Of course I hate it! But I can't go back to my high school. 17:13 TDAddict ~TDAddict@cpe-173-169-176-138.tampabay.res.rr.com has quit Public PJIRC @ http://pjirc.viper007bond.com/ 17:13 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: And why not? 17:13 <+Noah|> Because all my friends are mindless, brain-dead, zombie dorks. And you'd think that being head of student council would have some benefits, but the only perks I get are free coffee and free usage of the library's photocopier. 17:13 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: So, you're going to MISS the "losers" on this show? :| 17:14 <+Noah|> Meh. I wouldn't say MISS. :| 17:14 TDAddict ~TDAddict@cpe-173-169-176-138.tampabay.res.rr.com has joined #TDWIKI-RP 17:14 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: I would. Noah, I think you need to start bein' a little nicer to people. There's a reason that people think of you as season three's villain. You're more of a buzzkill than Heather and Courtney. 17:14 <+Noah|> Speaking of which, nice job killing off Courtney. I was actually happy that she was gone. 17:14 (How much I miss? :c) 17:14 <@ChefHatchet> (Not much.) 17:14 (Last thing I saw was Chef talking about confidence or whatever.) 17:14 <@ChefHatchet> (You can read the transcript later.) 17:14 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: That's exactly what I mean. You need to start bein' nice to the friends you have on this show, and the friends you have in school, or you'll have no friends at all pretty soon. 17:14 * Noah| sighs. 17:14 <+Noah|> I guess I could make an effort to be a little bit... brash. 17:14 <+Noah|> * a little bit less... brash. 17:15 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Oh, and stop usin' words like "brash". What are you, a forty-year-old soccer mom? Toughen up, bro. >_> 17:15 <+Noah|> Will do, "bra." 17:15 * Noah| rolls his eyes 17:15 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Great. Now I gots to kill you. 17:15 <+Noah|> All right. How's this gonna work? Are you just gonna make me sleep, or-- 17:15 * Noah| is shot by a tranquilizer gun 17:15 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *snickers and begins to cover Noah in ketchup* 17:16 <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades out* 17:16 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Well, there you go. Those were the four contestants that I helped during my time on the show. 17:16 Brock| @109.77.197.240 has quit error: Connection reset by peer 17:16 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: And guess who the only four people who showed up to my funeral were? 17:16 Lindsay 62fd9f88@gateway/web/freenode/ip.98.253.159.136 has left #TDWIKI-RP [] 17:16 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Beth, Lindsay, Duncan, and Noah. *snickers* 17:16 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: It just goes to show you. Always help those in need. 17:16 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: A'ight. I gotta go back to being dead now. 17:16 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: I have to play cards with Joan of Arc in about two minutes. 17:16 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: We've been trying to beat King Henry, but he can't seem to give up. >_> 17:17 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: This has been Chef Hatchet, former cook in Total Drama Roleplay. 17:17 <@ChefHatchet> Chef: See y'all later. ;) 17:17 <@ChefHatchet> *within moments, Chef vanishes into thin air* 17:17 <@ChefHatchet> *the screen pans over to his gravestone, which reads, "CHEF HATCHET"* 17:17 <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades to black* 17:17 WebkinzMania ~WebkinzMa@pool-96-250-248-172.nycmny.fios.verizon.net has joined #TDWIKI-RP 17:17 <@ChefHatchet> -- END -- T T T